3 months post-partum. Messed up hair dye job. 30 lbs overweight. Insecure. Unhappy. Dorky.
I forced myself to get in front of the camera. I entrusted in my photographer with the type of trust I’m not even sure I have with myself. I can’t even tell you how hard this was for me. Not just because of the vain characteristics I listed above. But because of the vulnerability it brought. I trusted her to make me beautiful. Not through photoshop, but by pulling out the inside beauty through laughs, posing, personality. Now I totally get what my clients go through and why so many shy away from photography. But I didn’t have a choice.
I forced myself to do this for my business.
If it had been just for me I probably would have never done it. This was one of my goals for 2012 and I did, despite the midnight cheeseburgers while pregnant with Caleb that resulted in lingering pounds. I wasn’t going to let my insecurity get in the way of my business. How can I ask people to find their real beauty and get it photographed when I hadn’t done it myself? How can I encourage other photographers to go out there and take chances if I’m not going to? So I did it. I, also, find that by showing yourself to your audience and allowing them to “get to know you” as much as possible helps to strip away the impersonal aspect of the internet.
So I did it.
Here I am.
And what I have learned from this “little goal” is so invaluable. I feel that I’m coming full circle to that geeky girl with the bumper bangs and braces.
I wish the 15-year-old me knew where I would be one day. That I would survive highschool and the teasing. That in the real world there is so much more to a person than the absence of their bumper bangs and braces. The sad part is, the 15-year-old me is still inside. Confident on the outside, but constantly putting myself down on the inside. I used to think I got into this business to capture the wedding I never had. (Cough cough Husband, our anniversary is coming up).
No, I have finally found why I got into this business.
On the consulting side, I find myself wanting to encourage others to succeed. On the photography side, it is to give people what Amy Cook gave me through these pictures. Confidence. And what Morgan Kervin gave me this past year. Memories. Sure I won’t hang myself on my wall in my office but I have these to use for so much more than marketing. They identify a time in my life where I feel like I can start to let go of the 15 year old insecurities. As photographers we should encourage our clients to not pass up preserving memories in life because of extra weight, or not the right time, or (insert another excuse here).
But I still have the evenings that I fall into my pillow crying because I am grasping to hold onto those insecurities and have no idea what the future holds. But you can’t let those insecurities stop you from succeeding.
The best you can do is to march on.
Set goals.
I wish the 15-year-old me could see me now and listen. Ignore the nay-sayers. See me as a business owner and mother. Then again, I could thank all those that told me I was ugly or that I would become nothing. At the end of the day I am nothing but a mother and a wife. Someone who is yearning for the world to see how beautiful they are on in the inside, and letting me be the one to capture it. Don’t let your insecurities stop you from becoming the person you want to be. From running the business you want to run. From achieving the dreams you want to succeed.
I wish the 40-year-old me could talk to the 27-year-old me and impart some wisdom but until then I’ll keep making mistakes, crying into my pillow, doing the running man when I get a certain number of likes on a post, and keep being me….
I challenge each of you to do something this year that puts you outside your comfort zone for your business. Something out of the norm. Write a blog post, post it on your page and tag my business page. Come back and comment HERE with the link by December 15th, 2012 and you can win a FREE spot in my 2013 MentorME program. I will select someone December 17th, 2012. If you happen to sign up in the regular application time (you don’t have to in order to be entered for the free one), your fees will be refunded and you get your program free! No purchase required to enter to win a free spot.
Winner is Bailie Malay!
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[...] The worst they can do is say no! No one else will know about it and they aren’t going to go blog about all the people they turned down. You can’t progress unless you put yourself out there. [...]
Here is my blog entry. This was a very hard task for me to do. It brought back many memories and yet it was a very fulfilling experience. I am so glad I forced myself to do it. Thanks Rachel for doing this. You are an amazing Photographer and I would love to learn from you.
http://sarahedgarphotography.weebly.com/blog.html
wrote a post about you, hope to win this, I think I could use this alot for my new business…
Great post, I struggle with the same issue too sometimes, it’s so hard not to listen to that broken down voice.
My first blog ever!!
http://www.amberwernerphotography.com/
Thanks.
Rachel,
Thank you so much for this opportunity! Your kindness never ceases to amaze me! I can’t even begin to fathom how this would truly change my life forever. I wish everyone the best of luck!
Thanks again! Seriously, you rock!
Here’s the link to my blog post:
http://www.4everpeterson.com/hope-in-the-almost
Also I did post it via FB, via https://www.facebook.com/jess.pete.85, and I did leave the post public
http://dawn-leroux.com/blog/2012/10/leap-of-faith-or-just-plain-crazy/
My blog entry, I posted it a while back and have since added a paragraph. Thanks Rachel and continued luck to all other photographers!
http://hisheartphotography.com/2012/12/the-cocoon-the-butterfly-endings-are-really-beginnings/
My entry :*)
I’ve really enjoyed reading everyones entries as well! You’ve all made me realize I’m not alone in how I feel or what I struggle with, personally and professionaly. You are an amazing group of photographers!!
[...] title, right? Probably. You see, a photographer I admire greatly, Rachel Brenke, posed a challenge with a very motivating and amazing grand prize: a free one year mentorship with [...]
Rachel
Here is my entry http://malay29826.c4.cmdwebsites.com/blog/?p=39
And PS Thank you for all that offer to others, <3 your selflessness.
Bailie
Here is my link to the blog post that I tagged you in. Hopefully I did it correctly!
http://myimagophotography.com/2012/11/29/inspiration-and-moving-forward/
Here is my post
Best of luck everyone, what an amazing prize
http://www.thesailorandthebutterfly.com.au/blog/2012/11/once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-photographer/
Thanks for the challenge. Here’s my post. http://crystalgaylephotography.blogspot.ca/2012/11/stepping-out.html
I posted it on my fb page as well.
Thank you for the challenge! I’d love to win and give you the challenge of working with a non-portrait photographer!
http://crystalgaylephotography.blogspot.ca/2012/11/stepping-out.html
I think this is such a wonderful thing you’re doing! I actually wrote my post back in August but realized I never linked it. I’ve since moved my website and blog but the link is still good.
It’s amazing how one women honestly sharing her story can inspire so many other women. Thank you for that.
http://www.leahartmanphotoblog.com/2012/08/its-time-fayetteville-womens.html
Rachel,
Thank you so much for this opportunity. I would LOVE to have a year of mentoring with you; what an awesome opportunity. When it was time to apply a few months back, it bummed me out that I couldn’t (simply because of money) and it was great to see that there was a second chance!
What’s funny about this opportunity is that you posted it AFTER I already had my boudoir session, but the key is that your post gave me the courage to write my own. Thank you for that.
Anyway, here’s my post: http://jennamichellephotography.wordpress.com/2012/11/10/jenna-the-client-lifestyle-portrait-photography-bay-area/ I’d seriously be so honored if you read it!
Also, I posted it on my business page and tagged you yesterday =)
Thanks again!
Jenna
Rachel,
Thank you so much for the chance to win a MentorME for next year! I have started my business but would love all the help and tips I can get. I want to get better and I hope to grow so much this next year. Here is my blog post for the contest.
http://lovingfamilyof4.blogspot.com/2012/11/past-and-future.html
Breanne
THanks again for the chances to win.
Rachel, I can’t put into words how thankful I am for this opportunity. I am currently going through the process of opening my own business (although have been taking pictures for a some time now) and I have found your posts and Facebook to be so helpful. You are so talented in the ability to share what you know and help others. The post below is actually my first blog post altogether. I figure you have to start somewhere and now is the perfect time. Thank you again for the opportunity.
http://studio408photo.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/time-for-new-beginnings/
Please accept this as my official entry for a chance to win a spot for the 2013 Mentor Me. Thanks so much for being inspiring & encouraging. Leaving it all in His hands from here. http://karriedrakephotography.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-difficult-challenge.html
Rachel, I just wanted to take a few minutes to thank you. You pushed me to express a side of me I knew existed, I was just to scared to show. In my blog I wrote about the reason I became a photographer. That may be an easy thing for some. They may reply with “Oh, I just love photography” But to me it means so much more than just clicking a button, and sitting behind a desk editing. I would LOVE the opportunity to learn from you, it would be such an asset to my business that I truly need. My heart and sole is in this business and I just want to grow into a better person, a better photographer and a better business owner.
Here is the link to your Facebook Tag: https://www.facebook.com/BrittanySchmidtCustomPhotographer/posts/475117632528602
Here is the link to the actual blog post as well: http://btsphotog.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/why-i-am-a-photographer/
Thank you SO much for being the amazing inspiration that you are, and even if I don’t get the opportunity to learn from you I will still know that, that blog post right there has made me a better person.
Thank you for being a source of inspiration for women, photographers and business owners. Challenge accepted!
http://www.carrphotostudios.com/rachel-brenkes-challenge/
http://www.facebook.com/carrstudios
(tagged you in the FB post, and linked you in the blog post)
I want to thank you for this post. It made me re-evaluate myself and the way I was running my business and it’s helped me push myself to become a better photographer and business owner.
My facebook link tagging your business page (I don’t know how to link to the exact post):
http://www.facebook.com/danielacurl.photography
The blog post:
http://curlphotography.blogspot.com/2012/10/here-i-am-world-san-angelo-portrait.html
A year of mentoring from you…can’t even begin to imagine how AWESOME that would be!
Thank you for the reminder. I love taking family photos…It’s time I get into my own
You’re tagged at:
facebook.com/lubbydubbyphoto
My 15 year old me just teared up a little… Because I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! I’m 35, and for the most part, I’ve grown out of the destructive self-doubt that I had when I was a teenager- but it’s still in there, lurking, and it comes out at the worst times possible! Thank you, Rachel, for sharing this! And thank you for the challenge… Now I just have to do some thinking and go for it!
Fb page: facebook/blackburnprotocolphotography.com
itd be great to win (on my birthday at that), but if not atleast spreading her blog out there is education in itself. Im happy to advertise her work, because, well her advice rocks!
I think you are brave… I hate every photo taken of me…. or maybe I just can’t find someone I can trust to bring the real shy me out… I’m also lacking the confidence in myself, so thank you for being brave enough to say it! I think that’s why I hide BEHIND the camera.
Regards,
Renata
Here’s hoping for a second chance!!
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4170815338767350697#editor/target=post;postID=5171143723492559851
I truly believe that this opening is meant for me. My life has been a roller coaster the last few years and what a dream it would be to have your guidance to making my childhood dreams come true. Will be submitting a blog post in the near future
Here is the link to my photography page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MelissaPricePhotography
and here is the link to my blog http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1525884545578758399#editor/target=post;postID=7726907629246452451
This was not my intention for writing this blog post, but I saw your link today & thought it was fitting.
Here’s the link to my blog post & you tagged: https://www.facebook.com/jnackphotography/posts/439749336060769
http://journeytoeffectiveness.blogspot.com/2012/10/stepping-out.html
I hope to win the mentoring! I just trying to start my photography business and have the confidence that I can be “good enough!” My facebook page is: https://www.facebook.com/JessicaJoElynnPhotography….. Thanks!
Here it is…….the post itself is my entry for stepping out of my comfort zone and let me tell you I must have took 10 minutes to hit post.
Here’s the facebook link and tagging of your business page.
https://www.facebook.com/may.bennett?ref=tn_tnmn
and here is the blog post itself
http://photosbymay.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/a-challenge/
Thank’s
May
http://dawn-leroux.com/blog/2012/10/leap-of-faith-or-just-plain-crazy/
It is also posted on my business Facebook page. Dawn & Le Roux Photography. Thanks for checking it out and good luck all the photogs entering the contest!!
http://angiehollenbeckphotography.blogspot.com/2012/09/hypocrite-angie-hollenbeck-photography.html
Here is my blogpost and this is me entering to win the mentoring
I love that you are so awesome…and thanks for the encouragement.
I’ve read this post many times, trying to figure out how to thank you, for it speaks so loudly to my soul. But I honestly can’t seem to find the right words. And that says a lot, because I usually, am never at a loss for words. I am up late, and can’t sleep, feeling very insecure. Where do I come for comfort?! Here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your kindness and for your real words that bring hope…to many people, I am sure!
[...] The worst they can do is say no! No one else will know about it and they aren’t going to go blog about all the people they turned down. You can’t progress unless you put yourself out there. [...]
I really admire you putting yourself out there and sharing with everyone, that shows what a special person you are. It’s sad that we have to go through these periods of not being sure of ourselves, but I guess that where the lessons that we learn from come from.
I think the what we need to do is look at all that we have accomplished and be in that moment and not worry about all that we want to accomplish, it will come in time. LOL, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
I’m not “legit” or an “Official” photography business. In order to get out of my comfort zone my goal is to put my big girl panties on and take the plunge.
Thank you for this. I’ve got those same insecurities and it’s so difficult to let them go. I’m about 5 months post partum and most days I don’t even want to look in the mirror, let alone let someone photograph me. We are our own worst critic more often then not.
Thank you for this!
Thank you for that. I’ve been having some of the same revelations as of late.
Wow it felt like I wrote this!! I was the same dorky girl but with glasses and hearing aids. I was stick skinny and always got called diseased and horrible names. While everyone was trying to lose weight i was scheming how to get fat LOL But then in high school I decided not to care anymore, and to embrace who I am (even my skin and bones lol) and became a model (where I was beautiful for being a stick haha) and that gave me a lot of confidence. But the most confidence I found I gained is through photography, it’s so much more rewarding than modeling although I still model from time to time
Rachel, you said everything in this post that I’ve needed to hear. I appreciate it! I’ve been insecure, doubted myself, & am an extremely dorky person. But I embrace it. LOL. I think you’re amazing at what you do. Sometimes people go through things for a reason. Those crappy people & experiences are what mold us into who we are supposed to become.
Thanks for this post!
Dena
Wonderful post Rachel! I know the feeling, there is NO WAY I would ever want to be 15 again, but the experiences behind me are a part of what makes me who I am today and wouldn’t trade them. Stepping out of our boxes and challenging ourselves to do things that make us uncomfortable are what drive us forward to meet the goals we set for ourselves and ultimately make us better photographers, wives, mothers. Thank you for your continued advice here and on your FB page. You are an inspiration and an example of such success.
You’re one of the most beautiful people I know, inside AND out. I’m beyond over the moon that we became friends. Love you <3
What a beautiful post. Although, I do have to point out if that is what 30lbs overweight looks like – where do I sign up?
Thank you for your dedication. Few possess it.
Loved your post! One of the toughest challenges I put myself through is introducing myself and talking to people. I am extremely shy and also hearing impaired. I am always afraid people would make fun of me or think I am stupid when I tell them I have a hearing problem. I had these past few months, no years to not let it bother me anymore. Life is so much sweeter not caring what others think.
I am loving this post. Thank you for writing about it. I have a goal myself and hopefully it will be done in October wasn’t going to share about it but maybe now I will. I have loved all your pictures from Amy Cook
Great post Rachel! Totally written from the heart. I’m so very glad you never gave up way back when or we would have never met at your workshop. Thanks for sharing & letting us know you have many of the same insecurities we all have. You really do rock!!